Archive for September, 2003

September 9th, 2003 No comments
Creative Income Sources

Punjabi, the Indian puppet
has some great ideas on how to turn

lemons into lemonade:

Photo of Punjabi

Interviewer: Punjabi, I know you’re from India. Did you study with a yogi?

Punjabi: Oh, no, no. I came to this country to study mathematics at the University. But people thought that because I was from India, I must meditate. They all asked me to teach. I said to myself, “What the heck? You just close your eyes.” I supported myself through college.

Interviewer: Really? So you don’t meditate?

Punjabi: I do now.

Read The Whole Thing™.

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September 5th, 2003 No comments
Education: Not Entirely Wasted

This is probably only hysterically funny to people who’ve read (or

memorized, like I had to in high school English class) Chaucer’s

Prologue to the <a

href=””>Canturbury Tales:

The Sacramento Tales

Whan that Septembre with his shoures sote
Summers droghte hath percéd to the rote,
And bathéd Napas vynes with swich licour
As makéth Gallo Brothers shayre price soare;
Whan al vacacioun tyme is used and gonne
And beaches emptye lye beneath the sonne,
Whan freeways clogge with workers offys-bounde
Whyl scole-buses mak roade rage all arounde.
Whan harlots on the Strippe crye to be payd
By Englishe heart-throbbes crusyng for rough trayd
(Whom Nature hath anon depryved of braynes!)
Than longen folk to run polityckal campaygns
And pollsters for to scanne ye publick moode
By telephoun and questionnaire intrude.
And specially, from every countys ende
Of Golden State, to Sacramento wende,
The Governour's fyn castel for to wyn
And dwel with powre and glorie ful therein.

Derb should be kept busy “translating” this new find — I think that

Chaucer had less pilgrims than California has candidates.

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September 4th, 2003 No comments
Victor Lams Goes Off His Meds …

… due to

overexposure to Marty Haugen

So before Mass today Herr Gottesdienstfuhrer approaches the microphone and says that today there’s “something familiar — and a little different” which in Liturgical Director speak means “bend over — and this time, no lube”.

Really, Victor, don’t hold back — tell us how you really feel.

Actually, buck up (or should I say “offer it up”?), it could be

worse. You could be <a


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